It’s summer, and as every year, social media feeds fill up with perfect sunsets, crowded beaches, rooftop cocktails, and exotic trips. But behind the carefree images being shared hides a feeling that is becoming increasingly widespread, especially among young people: FOMO, the Fear Of Missing Out, the fear of being excluded from experiences we feel we “should” be having.
This is confirmed by two expert psychologists interviewed on the topic. According to Dr. Simone Sottocorno, president of the association InTerapia, FOMO is “the fear of missing out on experiences perceived as particularly meaningful, without which we feel our reputation or social acceptance might be compromised.” This feeling is amplified in summer, when free time and collective expectations push us to “cram in” as many experiences as possible, creating performance anxiety even during our leisure time.
For Professor Ferdinando Toscano, a researcher at the University of Campania, the summer season also represents an emotional peak for FOMO: “In summer, the perceived possibility of living more experiences increases, which intensifies the fear of missing something. But often, everything happens in our heads: FOMO doesn’t come from real experiences, but from what we imagine.”
Social media plays a central role in this context. Both experts agree that Instagram, TikTok, and similar platforms contribute to feeding unrealistic expectations. “Everyone shows what they want to show, often an idealized version of their life,” Toscano explains. So, by watching others have fun, we start feeling inadequate, even if there’s nothing objectively enviable.
However, FOMO isn’t just a matter of social media. It’s linked to deeper cultural and psychological dynamics. “We live in a performance-based society,” Toscano continues, “where even pleasures become obligations.” Reading the “five books to catch up on this summer” or visiting the most Instagram-worthy locations turns into a task to be completed in order to feel adequate.
According to Sottocorno, this anxiety is also a symptom of our difficulty in accepting limits. “There’s a deeper anguish, tied to the idea that time is slipping away. The need to ‘do everything now’ is, deep down, a reaction to the unconscious awareness of death — the idea that everything could end soon.”
FOMO mostly affects young adults, aged 18 to 35, but not only them. With the widespread use of social media across older age groups as well, FOMO has become a cross-generational phenomenon. “Today, fifty-year-olds use Instagram more than eighteen-year-olds,” Toscano observes.
Adding to this is a consumer culture that turns every occasion into a “must,” every trend into something to chase. “We are immersed in a market that constantly creates false needs,” Sottocorno stresses. “We need to learn to choose what truly excites us, and accept that we can’t do everything. And that’s perfectly okay.”
So how do we get out of this cycle? The answer isn’t simple, but both experts propose a change in perspective. “We need a paradigm shift,” says Sottocorno. “We need to turn our gaze inward, to rediscover our authentic needs instead of chasing those imposed from the outside.”For Toscano, even a small gesture can be enough: “Let’s turn off Instagram. Let’s read a book. Let’s slow down. Let’s go back to truly living experiences instead of chasing their representation.” In short, the grass is always greener on the other side, but rather than staring over the fence, psychologists suggest that to avoid FOMO and feel more at peace with ourselves, it’s better to focus on what we truly want to do, rather than what we feel we should do.
